Friends - [3x02] - The One Where No One's Ready 

"The One Where No One's Ready" is the second episode of the third season of Friends, which aired on September 26, 1996. The plot centers on Ross's anxiety as his friends take too long getting ready for a function that evening.

The episode was written by Ira Ungerleider and directed by Gail Mancuso. It is one of the few bottle episodes of the series; the bulk of the episode takes place on only one set and in real time. There are no guest stars, with the exception of two brief cameos.

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Ross arrives at Monica's apartment to discover Joey,Chandler and Rachel are not yet dressed for a function that evening. Joey sits on the chair Chandler was recently sitting in causing an argument between them, resulting in hummus staining Phoebe's dress. Meanwhile, Ross yells at Rachel causing her to say she will not go to the function. Chandler hides Joeys underwear, so Joey puts on all Chandlers clothes. Ross is willing to go to extreme lengths to prove to Rachel that he is sorry.
Meanwhile, Monica is thrown into doubt after her ex-boyfriend Richard leaves a message on the answering machine (a voice cameo by Tom Selleck). Her friends tell her repeatedly that it's an old message, but she obsesses over it. Monica leaves what she believes is a breezy message, which clearly isn't when she plays it for the group. However, it's followed by a message from another woman. Monica freaks out again, but then she thinks it could be Michelle, Richard's daughter. She calls Michelle to confirm, but Michelle calls back and things get awkward. At the end of the episode, Monica leaves a new message for Richard. However, she accidentally sets it as his outgoing message. Monica panics and thinks the solution is getting the phone company to change his number. Phoebe says "I think he'll be doing that himself after this."

The One Where No One's Ready [3.02]

[Monica, not yet dressed for Ross's event, arrives shortly before they need to leave.]
Ross: It starts at eight. We can't be late.
Phoebe: We could not, would not, want to wait!

Ross: How can you not be going?
Rachel: Well, I'm not gonna go... so I think that will accomplish the not going.

[Joey has just walked into Monica's apartment wearing everything Chandler owns as a comeback in an argument]
Chandler: That is so-not-the-opposite of taking someone's UNDERWEAR!
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes?!

Answering Machine: You have two new messages.
Joey: [Laughs] What a cool job. [Answering Machine voice] "You have two new messages."
Joey: [Answering Machine voice] "Please pass the pie."