The One with the Embryos [4.12]
[At the doctor's office, Phoebe sits before a Petri dish with her brother and sister-in-law's embryos]
Phoebe: Hello, teeny embryos. I'm, I'm Phoebe Buffay. Hi! I'm, I'm, I'm hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know that we're doing this for Frank and Alice — who you know! You've been there! You know, they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on! Okay? And, and I promise that I'll keep you safe and warm until you're ready to have them take you home. So. Okay. Oh! And, also, um, next time you see me, if I'm screaming, don't worry — that's what's supposed to happen.
[Ross begins the lightning round with questions for Joey and Chandler]
Ross: What was Monica's nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Joey: Big Fat Goalie.
Ross: Correct. [A stung Monica reacts] Rachel claims this is her favorite movie.
Chandler: Dangerous Liaisons.
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite is-
Joey: Weekend at Bernie's!
Ross: Correct. [Rachel gasps] In which part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14? [Chandler thinks, then whispers in Ross's ear] EW, NO!! [Monica winces] Her ear! Monica categories her towels. How many categories are there?
Chandler: Fancy Guest.
Ross: Two seconds.
Joey: Uh... Eleven?!
Ross: [clicking time] Eleven. Unbelievable. Eleven is correct. Alright, that's four for the guys. Ladies, you're up. [The teams trade places, doing the double-fist bumps to each other] Thirty seconds on the clock. Five correct questions wins the game. The lightning round begins... now. What is Joey's favorite food?
Ross: Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl's breast?
Ross: No, nineteen.
Chandler: Thanks, man.
Ross: Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was...
Ross: Correct. His profession was...
Rachel: Space cowboy.
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bing's job?
Rachel: Oh, gosh! Does it have something to do with numbers?
Monica: And processing.
Rachel: And he carries a briefcase.
Ross: Ten seconds. You need this or you lose the game.
Monica: It has something to do with transponding.
Rachel: Oh, oh! He's a transponds...transpondster!
Monica: THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD! I can get this! I can get this... [Ross clicks time-- they've lost the apartment]
Rachel and Monica: NO!!!
Chandler and Joey: YEAAAHHHH!