Friends - [7x14] - The One Where They All Turn Thirty

"The One Where They All Turn Thirty" is the fourteenth episode of the seventh season of Friends, wich aired on NBC on February 8, 2001. It's Rachel's thirtieth birthday and she is very depressed about aging. In a series of flashbacks, each of the friends' equally depressing thirtieth birthdays are shown.

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The episode opens with the friends gathered around in Rachel's apartment, decorated with birthday paraphernalia. As Rachel walks out, they all wish her a 'Happy Birthday', to which she slams her bedroom door angrily. Her boyfriend, Tag comes out of the room and informs the friends of a few ground-rules regarding the celebration. They then proceed to try and coerce her out and it is eventually Ross who lures Rachel to the party with the promise of presents. Joey then tries to tell her that turning thirty is not a big deal, however Ross reminds Joey how Joey felt when he turn thirty. A flashback to his thirtieth birthday reveals that he feels differently, pleading with God that they had a deal to not let him age.
Rachel awake
Rachel wakes up to find her surprise birthday party.
Rachel then informs everyone that she is still twenty-nine in Guam. Chandler tells her that his thirtieth birthday wasn't great either, a flashback shows that Joey got upset at Chandler's birthday party as well, fearing that everyone was getting 'so old'. They try to convince her that her life is pretty good, but Rachel is still upset that she feels everyone around her has accomplished so much. Phoebe then tells her not to compare herself to her.
The scene cuts to Phoebe's thirtieth birthday, in which she is on a hopping ball. She states that she has bounced one mile on it and all of her goals before she is thirty are complete, except making up with her sister. Phoebe shrugs that goal off and runs away cheering with the other friends. Rachel hangs back and grabs the ball, which Phoebe described as 'a god-send for girls'.
Tag asks Rachel what she wants to do, to which she replies 'nothing'. Monica then remarks that doing nothing is 'better than doing something stupid like Ross'. Ross is shown to have bought an red MGB sports car. He claims that he is a sports car enthusiast, despite not even knowing what the horse power is. Both Phoebe and Rachel reveal that they are attracted to Ross because of the car and Phoebe gets in for a ride, however Ross has been locked in by the car in front and behind him.
Rachel then tells everyone that she isn't going to sit around all day and that she wants to get a piercing, however she is deterred by Phoebe who pinches her. Tag tells her that he is also worried about aging, but to a younger age of 25. Monica tells Rachel that no one handles their birthday well, to which Phoebe replies 'least of all you'.
Chandler has thrown Monica an amazing birthday party at their apartment. He is thanked by Jack and Judy Geller. Rachel runs in and tells them she heard Monica coming. Everyone ducks down and turns the lights off. However after a short while, Monica doesn't enter and they can hear banging from outside. Chandler leaves to check everything is OK. However he find a drunk Monica collapsed in front of Joey and Rachel's apartment door. Her speech is slurred and she is very over-excitable. She tells Chandler that the bus-boys took her out for drinks as she was nervous about turning thirty. Chandler comes up with a plan of sneaking Monica in and fooling everyone into thinking she is sober. However upon her entry to the apartment Monica overreacts to the surprise.
Joey is shown in Ross' car, still wedged between the other two cars. He tries desperately, under Ross' command, to move it out, but the car is trapped. A beautiful woman walks pasts and asks Joey if it is his car. He attempts to reply but Ross interrupts and scares the woman away. Phoebe returns to the group and tells them she will break into the van in front of Ross' car and put it into neutral, while the others push it forward. Phoebe pulls a crowbar from beneath her jacket and slides it down the window. The car door opens but sets off the alarm. Phoebe runs away with the others yelling 'Haul ass'. Ross is left trapped in his car with nowhere to go.
Phoebe visits her sister Ursula who informs her that they are now thirty-one and not thirty as Phoebe had previously thought. Ursula shows Phoebe a list of stuff she received when their mother died, including her birth certificate. Phoebe asks if Ursula has her birth certificate, but she says she sold it to a 'Swedish runaway'. She also asks if Ursula knows her middle name, which she incorrectly thinks if Phoebe, her first name.
Chandler helps Monica through her party, despite her obvious drunk nature, she gets a party-goer's name wrong, to which Chandler has to correct her. Chandler tells the others that Monica is drunk and that she doesn't want her parents to notice. Phoebe decides that she should get twice as drunk as Monica, so no one will even notice her. Chandler then asks Rachel to help Monica get changed into her party dress.
Tag hands Rachel her birthday gift, which is revealed to be a scooter, something which the other friends disapprove of. Chandler then hands Rachel the card and present from him and Monica. However the inside message, which was supposed to be a joke, upsets Rachel. She runs into her room crying. However, Rachel returns to the group with a plan. She tells them she wants three children and she wants the first one before she is thirty-five. However her calculations show her that she must already be with the guy she wants to marry.
Tag is then shown riding along on the scooter, with Joey trailing behind breathlessly, asking him not to keep hogging it.
Monica is now in her party dress and is being helped through the party by Chandler and Rachel. Chandler tells them Monica just has to stay quiet and not talk to anyone. However, Phoebe, who is very drunk by this point, calls for Monica to make a speech. Monica gets up reluctantly and makes a typical speech. However, part way through, Monica decides she wants to express her true feeling and tells her parents that she is drunk and has smoked a cigarette. She then tells them that she is a grown up and that she can do whatever she wants, before passing out. Phoebe then rushes to get Joey to help her get her top off to distract the crowd.
Phoebe is then shown in the coffee house with the others. She is bummed out at not having reached any of her goals before she is thirty-one, including; meeting Portuguese people, having the perfect kiss and going to sniper school. Monica offers to take Phoebe upstairs to have some cake, but she is too upset and leaves to be alone. Joey follows after her and kisses her. It is quite obvious it was Phoebe's definition of the perfect kiss. He also tells her he is one 1/16th Portuguese, so that is something else she can cross off of her lists. Phoebe leaves looking happy.
Ross tries to get everyone to lift his car out of the tight space. Each friend is positioned around the car, with the hands gripped tightly to it. On Ross' command they attempt to move it, but are deterred by the weight.
Rachel goes to talk to Tag, but is interrupted by Joey who wants the scooter. She lets him away with it and sits down to talk seriously with Tag. After one final kiss, Rachel tells Tag that it's just not going to work and the two break up. Ross then has the realization that in ten years, they will all be forty, to which Joey bursts out in tears and sobs in Ross' arms.
Ross' car is revealed to be free from its trapped parking position. He and Joey eagerly climb in and drive down the block, to find that a particularly unattractive man has the same car. Ross sits dejected and climbs out of the car with Joey asking him if he wants to buy the car.